PACT Team Not For Me

About two weeks ago, I met with Ellaine of the Eyerly Ball PACT Team. Earlier this week, Karissa and Ellaine called me to see if I wanted to join the program, and I went on a spiel about how I didn’t think they could do anything for me besides writing me new prescriptions for my medications. They called the police, and the police took me to talk to Leah, a social worker, about what was going on. Leah thought that PACT would be good for me, to get my medications filled if for nothing else, and she left Karissa a voicemail message.

I called Leah yesterday and asked her if she’d heard back from Karissa yet, but she hadn’t. I asked if she thought that perhaps I should just go on down to the PACT office and inquire about things in person, and Leah thought that would be alright, though she cautioned, “But don’t threaten anybody. Don’t threaten anybody or rise hell.”

“No? Well, there go my plans.” Leah told me to let her know how it went at the PACT office. “Let you know how it goes? How do I do that?”

“Call back,” she said.

So I went down there to 401 E. Court Ave. I spoke with somebody, I think her name was Jody, and she said, “I don’t think that PACT is the program for you. You have goals. We’re for druggies who have no ambition. You might want to go back to Cropp Clinic for your medications.

I called Leah back. “Hi, dude,” said Leah. I told her that things didn’t go well at the PACT office, and she said to try Synergy health clinic, but I decided to just go back to Cropp Clinic. I was surprised to find that they could get me in that day, in a few hours. So I went home and worked on writing a book for a few hours, then returned to the clinic.

I explained to the ARNP that I didn’t see anything pathological in reading and writing books until I had the money to go back to school in about 18 months. She said that I was psychotic last time she had seen me a couple months ago. I told her that I don’t think I was psychotic, but that I was upset about things that I had ought to be upset about. “Where does being upset about things that happened eight years ago get you?”

I told her that I wasn’t going to be okay with something that was wrong; it could have happened a million years ago, but what’s wrong is wrong, and sitting around being okay with it is what would get me nowhere.